Have you ever been in love? I would guess about 90% has probably really said and/or felt the “L” word. There’s a difference between saying you love and actually being in love. Love is a tricky feeling. It starts off so magical. The feeling is surreal. You give your all and sometimes things change. That magic is far and few in between. You start to notice things that really bother you but you still continue to love. You still give your all in efforts to get the same in return. When I first seen this quote I was like “Hell Yeah! I am owed love” I had to read it over a couple of times to really get the meaning. I had not be bias for what I am going through and open my mind to what @daeizm was really saying. I had to let go of my anger and get deep down into the truth.
Truth is a lot of us, as normal human beings, want what we give out (especially if its something good). We feel as though this is the way it should be but reality is this not how it is. When it comes to love there should never be a reward expected. If its true, you should just love and that’s it. Not looking for a gain of anything. I struggle with this. Only because that’s all I have to genuinely give. I constantly tell my Ex that he doesn’t love me because I feel as though I am not getting what I am owed. But what can really be a reward? You say all I want is this for this, but its funny cause if it was pure that’s not what it would be. I can say sometimes we don’t even realize what we are doing expecting something for the love we are giving out. It’s just becomes second nature.
I have to be honest and say I can’t say this is a human thing. I going to be blunt and say this is majority a female thing and I know because I am a female. We give out love expecting a relationship, gifts, or the ultimate thing marriage. I wouldn’t say just give out love all willy nilly. I wouldn’t advise you just love just anybody. I am saying when you love the right person love them for who they are, expect nothing and I am pretty sure you will get everything you ever dream. This is not because you emoted (portray an emotion in a theatrical manner) “love” but because you actually loved wholeheartedly. You can see the difference. I see the difference as I write this post and think about all of my situations with my Ex. I loved him but I couldn’t get passed just loving him and that’s it. I need love in return and like @daeizm says love is not a loan.
Love Freely the way you want
But expect nothing to validate why you are giving it
How many times does things become too much to bare or deal with? The moments where everything seems to go wrong at the wrong time. It makes you question the reason why you continue to even do it. When I say “it”, it can be anything. It can be life. It can be getting use to being a new mom. It can be starting a new business. It can be ANYTHING.
The one thing I always try to remember is without challenges or obstacles the progression you seek will be all in vain. I say this because how is that going to make you greater, getting everything you want with out the work? If that happens you will always think things come easy. Sometimes you have to stop and reflect on all the things you did right. See where you came from. Embrace the changes you went through. Acknowledge how much you pushed your self. Then tell you self there is more to come.
I currently on a job search in which I feel that there is no avail. I have looked everywhere to do anything and still got nothing. On a daily basis I get in this funk because I feel like I should be working and doing working girl things. Sometimes the day is so bad. For example, It was one day I applied to like literally 15 jobs. I put my resume out there and got about 3 maybe 4 responses back. I was excited and felt good . I was like one of these interviews I am going to come out with something. I prepped myself that week. I felt good. I did my interviews and I didn’t get not one job. I was do disappointed. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I was ready to give up when somebody I know showed me that I started out getting no interviews to getting 3 or 4 of them. So I thought about what he said and he was right. I put work into fixing my resume, adding and taking out things that might help it look better. I created a lot job specific cover letters and all. I did a lot of work and I was not about to let that work fall below the waist side.
So I tell you that story to say this. Sometimes we don’t know how close we are to the thing we have been working so hard to get. Don’t give up just stop, give your self a pat on your back for making it this far, and keep working.
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Lets talk relationships. Not just a boyfriend and girlfriend type of relationship, but all types. When you are hurt in order to be happy you must heal. People often want the person that hurt them to take that burden off their chest, but here’s the thing they don’t have to and most times they won’t. Your happiness starts and end with you. Your healing depends on your will to be happy.
I’m going through this right now. I was in a situation where I thought I was going to come out of it better. It didn’t happen, go figure! I nagged and annoyed him to fix what he had broken. To amend the wrong he had committed but as hard as it is to admit it he didn’t have to. I’m not going to go as far to say he didn’t want to but he didn’t have to. I
wanted NEEDED him to cause I was too afraid to take that journey alone. I never did and that was my problem. I always needed a passenger to heal my hurt. I always found somebody to repair the damage. I just never realized that doing that only gave a temporary fix to past hurt and developed new ones along the way. Leaving me worst off than where I started.
So maybe its not a boyfriend. Maybe its a parent that abandoned you or a friend that violated your trust. Maybe its a child that disappointed you or a love one that took advantage of your kindness. Doesn’t matter who it is you are responsible for your healing. You are in control of your greatness. Don’t depend on them to help you in the process. It would be nice. It would be something that can aide in it, but its a waste of time waiting on them when you have YOU.
Shout out to @alex_elle for the amazing quote. She has tons of them it was so hard to choose.
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